Baby Thoughts at 20 Weeks

Yep. 3 am. I'm awake again. I've already gone to the bathroom two times.
Well, I'll just sit here in my chair awhile because I'm wide awake.

I feel Baby flutter kick. Aha. Baby is awake too. Yes, I remember now.
God, You are just getting me ready for those precious middle-of-the-night
wide-awake-baby feed-and-play-and-get-to-know-each-other times.

I'm twenty weeks. I'm past the point I lost our last baby. It surely
seems like we might possibly for sure get to have and hold this baby.
Maybe. Lord? Yes, You know. Like I've told myself a hundred times and I
might have to tell myself a hundred more times, "If it is God's will for
us to have this baby, nothing can thwart His will."

I'm having a baby. Baby, we're half way there. Another flutter! Are you a
girl? Knock twice. Ha. Wouldn't it be something if we have a girl? A baby
girl with lace, and ribbons and bows and so many ruffles she can't sit
down. Wouldn't our daughter be ecstatic? Wouldn't six brothers be amazed?
I can't even imagine a girl. It is possible!

Valerie is 18 now. She is such a baby snatcher. Baby Darlin' Dumplin' you
are going to have lots of love. What if you're a boy? You most certainly
might be a boy. I've had five in a row after all. Three-year-old-Luke
will be so tender sweet with his baby brother. Cliff and I are especially
good at sons. We have big, strong, leaderful boys, yet tender hearted and
they are each so good lookin' and smart too.

I'm really having a baby. Ok Baby it is after four now. Can we go back to
sleep now?
I climb back in bed in between Luke and Cliff and give it a try. I lie on
my back. I'm still awake.

I'm twenty weeks. I feel the firm top of the fundus with the palm of my
hand. My womb is full. A precious life all soft and new is unfolding in
there--alive and growing. Yes, I'm a little bigger today. At twenty weeks
I should measure twenty centimeters, right at the navel. You're right on
the button, Baby. I love you, Baby. Come out and live with us in about 20
weeks, k? Right on the palm of my hand I feel a thump! From the outside I
feel Baby move for the first time! Oh thank You, God. A baby!

With a tear of joy rolling down my cheek we fall back asleep. Mama and
Baby.

Love in Jesus,
Jenny
<>< www.jenny.hwmagazine.org
Cliff and Jenny Silliman, 931 S 7th, Sequim, WA 98382
Dan 20 Val 18 David 16 Mike 12 Josh 10 Stephen 5 Luke 3
Baby Darlin' Dumplin' due 03-23-03
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